


can't take my eyes off of you

by channelorange



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-11-02
Updated: 2012-11-02
Packaged: 2017-11-17 14:54:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,479
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/552788
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/channelorange/pseuds/channelorange
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry is a famous solo artist, Zayn is a painter, and they're best friends. With some pushes and shoves, Harry tells Zayn how he really feels through a song.</p><p>I'm really bad at summaries. Inspired by the song "Can't Take My Eyes Off Of You" by Lauryn Hill.</p>
            </blockquote>





	can't take my eyes off of you

His mobile begins to go off, but Harry is still in a daze. At first he thought it was the ringing in his ears from the club last night, but then he realized it was his ringtone.

Blindly, he reaches over to his bed side table to grapple for his mobile. When he finally gets a hold of it, he answers without checking the name. “’Lo?” His voice is rough and he cringes at the sound of it. He must’ve been quite drunk.

“Sounds like someone had a good time last night,” Zayn says on the other end, his laughter hitting Harry’s ears pleasantly. “Good to know you’re alive, then.”

“Course m’alive,” he mumbles, shuffling under the covers of his hotel bed. “Why would I not be?”

Zayn laughs again, the sound waking Harry up a little bit more. “Considering that it’s a bit past 16 and a half, and you usually ring me when you get up, which you hadn’t done, might have made me think you were dead somewhere in a sex house or summat.”

“A sex house?! Zayn, what—wait, did you say it was 16 and a half?” Harry pushes himself up and rubs his eyes with his free hand before looking over at the clock on the stand. It blinks 11:37 repeatedly and Harry groans. “Bloody American time zone. It’s not even midday here, why are you calling me?”

“Well excuse me for being worried about my mate! I’ll call you later, then, so you can go back to sleep,” Zayn says.

“No, no, I’m already up,” Harry sighs. “Besides, I’m glad it was you that rang and not anyone else. I definitely would’ve hung up.”

“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” Zayn questions, and Harry can hear the smirk in his voice. “I feel so honored that _Harry Styles_ wants to talk to me on his mobile. I might just faint.”

Harry can’t help but laugh because Zayn has never cared about his fame and always takes the piss out of him for it. It brings Harry back, though, to make him remember the time in his life when he had nothing, when all he really had was his bathroom to make his voice sound better and Zayn sitting on the toilet, listening to him sing. “What are you up to, Zed?”

His best mate hums on the other end, doing something since Harry can hear bustling in the background. “Seeing if there’s anything that I can eat without really cooking so I don’t burn down the flat.”

“How do you survive when I’m not home, honestly?” Harry questions. “Who feeds you when you run out of microwave dinners?”

“Liam, mostly. He’ll come over and cook some dinner so I don’t die while you’re gone or while I’m painting.” Harry hears Zayn opening and closing the cabinets, and he can easily imagine his scrunched, frustrated face when he can’t find anything he wants. “Maybe I should ring Liam up, actually. Need some food in the place anyway. And we can get real food for you to cook when you come home in a couple days.”

“How considerate of you,” Harry says, his voice flat. “Buying food, not for me to eat, but for me to cook? I knew I kept you around for some reason.”

Zayn huffs. “Hush, you. I’ll get you the little snacks that you love and whatever new things are there that I know you’ll want to try.”

Harry smiles, tossing off the covers from his hotel bed to get up. “You’re the best, have I said that recently?”

“The other day, I think,” Zayn says. “That reminds me, would you stop talking about me in _every_ interview that you do? I’m pretty sure you’re the star, not me.”

“But you’re my best mate. I’m not allowed to talk about you?” He grabs the menu off of the desk and looks through it, seeing what he can get sent to his room.

Sighing, Harry can hear Zayn opening up the microwave and start it up. “I’m not saying that you can’t talk about me, I’m just saying that you talk about me _too_ much.”

Harry pauses and furrows his eyebrows, sort of wishing he was with Zayn right now so he could see the face he’s making. “Zayn… did you just say that I talk about you _too_ much? Too much?! I absolutely cannot believe that you’re telling me this right now! This must be what the apocalypse feels like.”

“Harry, you wanker,” Zayn says, although there’s no malice in his voice whatsoever. “You know what I mean.”

“I actually don’t, which makes this funnier with every word,” Harry chuckles.

Zayn groans and Harry hears the microwave go off, the door opening and shutting again. “I mean that, like… I dunno. You mention me a lot, is all.”

“You’re my best mate, Zed,” Harry tells him simply. “There’s no reason I shouldn’t talk about you. You were the only one who was there for me every step of the way and never gave up on me, not once. Everyone else did.” There’s silence on the other end, so Harry continues to speak. “Besides, I like talking about you, especially your art. People love to hear about it.”

“People just love hearing you talk, is all,” Zayn says. “Never understood it myself. You tend to sound a bit whiny after a while.”

Harry laughs a little bit, but he hates when Zayn talks like that. He always thinks his art isn’t good enough and never can take a compliment well, which will always baffle Harry. “You probably drown me out when I talk too much. Been putting up with it for about five years, yeah?”

“…Hm? Did you say something, Haz? Sorry, wasn’t listening,” Zayn jokes, causing them both to share a laugh. “Anyway, you probably have some famous things to do, like sign autographs and walk down the sidewalk while looking like a runway model. Don’t want you to miss that.”

“You’re the wanker, Zed,” Harry grins, shaking his head. “But I’m not that busy today. Gotta few things to do. Why, trying to find a nice way to hang up on me?”

“You know quite well that I would hang up on you in a flat second, Harry,” Zayn tells him. “I just want to finish eating and get this painting done. Or try to, anyway. We’ll see how that goes.”

Harry sighs, not really wanting to get off of the phone with Zayn even though he knows how much time he needs to paint. When he thinks about it, he’s surprised that Zayn rang him in the first place, since he’s usually buried in his work by now.

“Well, I hope you finish it soon. The more paintings you do, the sooner we can open that art gallery of yours,” he says, once again throwing out the idea.

“Hazza,” Zayn says with a warning tone. It makes Harry frown and toss the menu back onto the desk. As hard as Zayn works for and on these paintings, he never has one that even he is wowed by, so he never wants to bring anything to any galleries that Harry is sure would love his work.

He runs his fingers through his hair. “You’re too hard on yourself, Zed. You’re an amazing artist,” Harry insists.

“No, _you’re_ an amazing artist,” Zayn says softly. “I’m alright. I mean, who knows? Maybe when I finish this painting, it’ll be the one I want to use.”

Harry knows that’s a lie, but he also knows that Zayn hates talking about these things. And because he’s a good mate, he drops it. “Yeah, maybe.”

His hotel door opens and Harry looks up, seeing Louis walk inside. “Harold Styles, you better get up right—oh! Look at that, you’re alive!” he says happily.

“Why does everyone think I’ve died?” Harry questions, holding one of his arms out in confusion. “I wasn’t that bad last night, was I?”

The look that Louis gives him makes Harry finally believe that he must’ve been a mess last night. Simply the way Louis expresses himself—whether it is something good or something bad—Harry almost always knows what he’s thinking. “ _Anyway_ ,” Louis begins, “you have a meeting in an hour and a half, so I suggest that you start to get ready. Showering and whatnot.” He nods his head toward Harry’s hand, which is still holding the mobile to his ear. “Who are you talking to?”

“Zayn,” Harry tells him, seeing Louis’ face immediately light up. “ _No_ , Louis, you can’t talk to him. He’s a very busy man.”

“Actually, I could talk to him for a quick mo’,” Zayn says on the other end.

“No, you can’t,” Harry quickly replies.

Louis begins to pout, which is one of Harry’s weaknesses (most of his weaknesses include Zayn’s pout, Zayn’s big brown eyes, Zayn scratching his head because it puts Harry right to sleep). “C’mon, Harry, I thought we were mates!”

“Technically, you’re my assistant,” Harry smirks.

“Oh, piss off, Styles,” Louis says, tossing up the middle finger. “You know I hate that bloody name.”

“I know,” he says easily, laughing playfully at Louis’ scowl. “Let me say bye to Zayn, okay?”

Shaking his head and rolling his eyes, Louis puts his things down on the desk and heads towards the bathroom. “What’d you kick Louis out of the room for? Just to say bye?” Zayn asks.

Harry shrugs, although he knows that Zayn can’t see him. He sits on the edge of the bed. “I guess I wanted to tell you that I miss you without someone taking the piss out of me for saying it.”

It’s quiet for a moment, but Harry knows that Zayn is still on the other end. “I miss you too, Harry. I hate it when you’re not home. Always feels like the flat isn’t full or something.”

He really wants to say that he doesn’t feel full when he’s not around Zayn, but Harry doesn’t know how he’ll feel about it, so he’ll keep it to himself like he always does. “I’ll be there soon so everything will feel right again.”

“Can’t wait.” There’s a comfortable silence between them, something that Harry doesn’t have with anyone else, and he cherishes it more than Zayn probably knows. “Anyway, you’re busy. You have things to do, people to see—”

“And you have paintings to paint,” Harry says, smiling softly. “I’ll ring you when I have a free moment, yeah? Complain about my day and such since I know you love to hear about it all.”

“You must’ve been drinking a hell of a lot last night,” Zayn says, causing Harry to laugh. “Alright, mate. Talk to you later. Have a good day.”

“You too. Love you.”

“Love you too. See ya.”

Harry waits until Zayn hangs up first and sighs, pulling his mobile away from his ear. He puts it in his lap and stares at the wallpaper—a picture of him and Zayn from his birthday party. They’re hanging all over each other with gigantic smiles on their faces, and Harry barely remembers most of that night, but he does remember Zayn giving him his birthday present (a $100 gift certificate to Harry’s favorite tattoo parlor, even though he knows Harry can easily afford it) and telling Harry how much he loves him.

He doesn’t hear Louis come back into the room until he speaks. “When are you going to tell that poor lad that you’re madly in love with him?”

Sighing, Harry locks his phone and puts it aside on the bed covers. “I’m not gonna do that, Louis, not when it could ruin everything.”

“You don’t know that,” Louis tells him, walking over and sitting next to Harry on the bed. “From what I’ve seen and heard, he’s just as gone for you as you are for him. I don’t think you could go wrong with this one.”

But Harry shakes his head. “I still don’t want to take that chance, not when I have everything that I could imagine.”

“Well, not everything,” Louis reminds him.

“I have enough. I’m not going to be greedy and ask for more.” With that, Harry gets up and goes into the bathroom, shutting the door behind him.

He runs his hands over his face, taking a deep breath and closing his eyes. Unfortunately, all he can see when he does that is Zayn—his smile and his scrunched nose and his tattoos—and Harry has to open his eyes once more. He discards his pants and starts up a shower, turning the water on hot to see if he can get these thoughts out of his mind right now.

**

Harry’s about to do a radio interview with z100, but it’s not for another few minutes, so he and Louis are just twirling around in the chairs that they were given to sit in. Louis was mostly hired to keep Harry in line and keep him out of trouble, but it always seems like he’s the one getting into all of the trouble. Harry was idly sitting there until Louis told him to have a spinning contest to see how long they can go in circles with one big push around.

“Is Zayn going to be listening in?” Louis questions, trying to look at Harry while he goes around about three and a half times.

“Forgot to text him,” Harry says, now that Louis has reminded him. He takes out his mobile and goes to his messages, sending a quick one to Zayn. _Gna be on z100 in a bit! Hope ur able 2 listen x_

“If I was your best-mate-slash-secret-lover, then I would be totally offended if you forgot to tell me about your radio interview,” Louis says casually, pushing himself in circles over and over again.

Harry gives him a blank stare. “Very funny, Louis.”

“I’m just saying! I would like to be supportive, but I have to know what’s going on in your oh so busy schedule!” Louis has a cheeky smile on and Harry just shakes his head.

“Well you’re the one who actually has my schedule. Why didn’t you just tell him?” he retorts.

“It wouldn’t be special if _I_ told him, Harry. It has to come from you!” Louis pushes back in his chair and rolls into a desk, making a loud banging sound. “Oops.”

People from the radio look at Louis with a glare and Harry covers his mouth to hide his smile. “Shouldn’t you be watching me from doing anything disruptive and not the other way around?”

Louis waves his hand out carelessly. “Whatever. The point that I’m making is that you should tell Zayn about stuff you’re doing so he can read or listen or watch them! It’ll make him feel more special.”

“Zayn knows that he’s special to me,” Harry says, and it’s true because he’s told Zayn on a handful of occasions how much he means to Harry. He thinks it’s something that he’ll never forget, and that’s good enough for Harry.

His phone vibrates twice and Harry unlocks it, his conversation with Zayn popping up. _put it on in the kitchen. liam is here makin dinner while im painting. cant wait to hear you! xx_ Harry grins at his phone, rubbing his thumb over the screen.

“He text you back, then?” Louis says, snapping Harry back to reality. He looks at Louis, seeing that smug look on his face and almost gets mad at him for it, but Zayn’s text has already lifted his mood so he can’t be angry right now. Harry reminds himself to be pissy to Louis later on.

A guy comes in, Harry assuming that he’s the radio host, and walks over to shake his head. “How are you?” he asks politely.

“I’m well, thank you,” Harry replies. “This is my assistant, Louis Tomlinson,” he introduces, patting Louis on the shoulder. He grins at his mate, who’s face has fallen at being called the A word.

The guy, who introduces himself as Alex, shakes Louis’ hand as well. They begin setting up, handing Harry a headset and bringing a mic down in front of him to get him ready. Louis simply sits next to him and continues to spin in the chair while he’s messing about on his mobile.

“Ready, Harry?” Alex asks, and Harry nods, adjusting the headset to sit comfortably on his hair. Alex presses some buttons and the music begins to fade before Alex speaks. “What’s going on, everybody? It’s your host Alex tonight, and I am here with one of the hottest pop stars around. Everyone welcome Harry Styles to z100!”

A clap track plays and Harry laughs into the mic. “Thank you, hello everybody. Thank you for having me here.”

“Thank _you_ for being here, man!” Alex says. “Being here in America must be weird for you though, right? A totally different world over here compared to England.”

Harry nods, pushing some of his hair out of his eyes. “Yeah, it’s very different. I mean, there aren’t that many drastic changes, but like you said, it’s a different world in some senses. I like it here, though, I really do.”

“That’s awesome. Well, we definitely love having you here and there are a good amount of fans outside the studio who love having you here as well.” Harry laughs at that, remembering all of the high pitched screaming when he came in the front door earlier. “What’s that like for you, man? How’s that feel to have girls in a completely different country scream and cry for you?”

“It’s… I don’t think it’s ever something you can get used to,” Harry says. “Because, you know, I came from a small town in Holmes-Chapel and I never thought any success I’ve gotten would get—get, you know, _this_ big. So it’s a very surreal feeling to have. Of course I appreciate every single fan that I have because they’re the ones who put me where I am now and I couldn’t be more grateful.”

Alex smiles. “See, that’s probably another reason that people love you so much. You’re such a humble guy and you’re so appreciative of, like, everything life has to give you. Um, let’s see,” Alex says, shuffling some papers. “I’ve read that you work with a few of your friends, which is amazing, you know, giving them this opportunity to be with you on your journey. I’ve also read that you’re incredibly close with your friends back at home too, which I’m sure is pretty hard to do when you’re almost never home.”

“Yeah, I enjoy working with people I’m comfortable around, so I did what I could when this big change in my life was happening. In, um, in my band, one of my guitarists is my mate Niall. Chill lad, always a great person to be around, and is a brilliant guitar player. And then we have Louis, who is like my sidekick,” Harry grins, tilting his head to look at him. Louis grins too, but shakes his own head. “If it wasn’t for him, I’m sure I wouldn’t get out of bed in the morning. He always tells me what’s going on and what I’m doing, so I know that I would be a bit of a right mess if I didn’t have him with me.”

“Louis is actually here with us,” Alex informs the listeners. “If you want to say hi to everyone listening, man, go for it.”

Louis leans over to Harry’s mic, laughing when Harry tickles under his chin. “Hello everyone,” he greets and moves back. He kicks his legs up and into Harry’s lap, making him laugh as well.

“That’s really awesome of you to bring your friends along, not many people would do that these days,” Alex says. “And what about your friends from home? I always read about this one guy, Zayn Malik. Who is that and why is he such an important person in your life?”

Harry can imagine that Zayn’s probably groaning about being mentioned again, but Harry never minds talking about him. He actually smiles at being able to talk about Zayn because it’s something that he loves to do. “Zayn is my best mate back home. He’s been there for me since day one of this all happening and he’s still there for me now. You know, he, like, keeps me grounded and makes me remember where I’m from and how I got here. He’s just an incredible person, inside and out, and I know I would not be sitting here talking to you if it wasn’t for him.”

“Wow, that’s amazing,” Alex says. “So you’ve known him for a long time, then? Since you were little kids, or what?”

Harry nods. “Yeah, since we were about… 15 or 16, I’d say. I was 15, he was 16. This, you know, is not that long ago since I’m only 20, but he was the one that was always there, no matter what. He always made me join singing competitions at school and was there with me when I was singing in the bathroom,” he laughs. “Zayn is just… he’s fantastic. I couldn’t possibly ask for a better mate than him. And that’s not to, you know, say I don’t appreciate Louis or Niall or Liam from back home, either. It’s just that Zayn has always been by my side and it means the world to me.”

“And who’s Liam?” Alex questions.

“Another mate from home. Zayn met him while I was away doing promos and stuff, but I met him about a year ago and we got on instantly. You know, I’m not home a lot, so I usually get Zayn to find more friends for me to make,” he jokes.

Alex laughs. “Nice, nice. And so, you’ve only got, what? Another day or two left in America before you go home?” Harry nods. “Will you be seeing Zayn when you get back?”

“Well we live together, so I’d hope so,” he chuckles. “Yeah, I always enjoy coming home and getting to see him. Louis and Niall live nearby us so we all go out whenever we get back and always have a good time together. Actually, I’ll be playing a little private show the day after I get home in a local pub, which is always nice to do.”

“Yeah, absolutely,” Alex agrees. “And, I’ve also read that Zayn is a painter? Does he have anything out there that anyone can get a hold of?”

“He is a painter, yeah, but he doesn’t have anything out,” Harry says. “He’s very protective when it comes to his paintings, you know, just like any writer is about their songs or stories. I think it’s just being an artist and wanting to… to keep what’s close to you because it’s yours, it’s something you’ve created and it can be easily nerve-wracking to show the world.”

“Understandable,” Alex says. “But maybe one day we’ll get to see them, you think?”

Harry shrugs. “I don’t know, truthfully. It’s not up to me, it’s up to Zayn, although I would show them all off if I could. He’s an incredible artist; I absolutely love all of his work. Maybe one day he’ll show them off so he’ll get the recognition he deserves.”

“See? You seem like an awesome friend, Harry, I know people who would kill to have someone like you in their life,” Alex compliments.

Harry chuckles. “Well, thank you. Honestly, I’m mostly like this because of Zayn, you know, always being there and getting me where I am now. I only want to return the favorite because he deserves it, he truly does.”

“I believe you, man, I do. I’ve never heard someone talk about their friend like that before, so he must be someone worthwhile,” Alex says.

Harry nods, unable to hold back a smile. “He is.”

Alex changes the subject, beginning to talk about Harry’s music. The interview goes on for about another half hour before Harry has to go. He says goodbye to the listeners and says thank you to Alex and z100 for having him as a guest.

When they finally finish up and they head out of the station, Louis grabs his arm to get his attention. “Mate, if Zayn doesn’t know how crazy you are about him after that, then I truly don’t know what else you could do.”

Harry frowns in confusion. “What do you mean?”

Louis widens his eyes as he stares at Harry. “What do I mean? Did you hear yourself? You sounded like a 13-year-old school girl with a massive crush.”

“No, I didn’t,” Harry says, glaring at Louis and continuing to head to their car. He thinks about it and bites his lip, reluctantly looking back at Louis. “Did I really?”

Louis gives him a sad smile and pats his shoulder. “You know I wouldn’t tell you if it weren’t true.”

“Fuck,” he mumbles, rubbing his hand over his face. Zayn was right; he does talk about him too much. But he can’t help it—people always ask about him and Harry just answers their questions truthfully. He knows he can tend to ramble on a bit and get carried away, but it must have been bad this time if Louis had to say it _that_ way.

His phone vibrates against his leg and Harry immediately becomes nervous, assuming that it’s Zayn. There are a million things it could say and Harry doesn’t know if he wants to read any of them. But he doesn’t have it in his heart to ignore Zayn, plus Zayn would only keep texting him and eventually start calling him until he finally answered.

After they get through the mob of girls and into the town car, Harry pulls out his mobile. He sees that he has two messages, one from Zayn and another from Liam, but decides to read Zayn’s first to get it over with.

_told ya to stop talkin about me so much. ur incredibly lucky that i love u. everything u said was rly sweet. cant wait to see u when u get home. xxx_

Harry lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding in and grins, immediately replying back. _cant help it!! everyone asks about u, all i do is tell them the truth. ur amazing. cant wait to be home and see u. love u lots xx_

When he goes to read Liam’s text, what he sees is not what he expects. His eyes scan it, reading it over and over, mouthing the words until he knows that it’s not a dream, that what he’s reading is real.

_zayn cud NOT stop smilin wen u were talkin abt him mate. starin at the radio with stars in his eyes the hole time. u need to make a move asap the guy is sooo gone!!_

“Harry?” Louis says, causing him to look over. “What in bloody hell are you smiling at? You’re sort of creeping me out.”

He doesn’t say anything, still can’t even think to speak because he’s stunned at the words on his phone. Harry just hands his mobile over to Louis wordlessly, watching his mate read it.

His eyes widen with every word until he’s finished and looking over at Harry. “Oh my god!” he cheers, leaning over and hugging Harry. “This is fantastic, Harry! See, I told you that he felt the same! I can’t believe you doubted me!”

Harry laughs with disbelief and runs his fingers through his hair. He’s never wanted to believe Louis because he could just be saying things. He and Zayn have been acting this way to each other for years. It’s always been Harry who felt more for Zayn. He’s never asked Zayn if he felt the same because Zayn is his best mate and he can’t afford to lose him from his life. But Liam’s words hit him hard. It feels different because Harry wasn’t around and Liam was there to witness this. Liam physically being there to confirm what Harry’s been wanting for years makes it so much more real and now he truly has a chance to change it all.

“You have to do something special for him,” Louis says, bringing him out of his head. “This is a huge, memorable moment. You have to blow his mind, Harry.”

“How am I doing to do that?” he questions.

Louis grins, immediately pulling out his own mobile and typing frantically. “I’ve got just the plan,” he tells Harry. “All I need you to do is one thing.”

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “And what’s that?”

“Pick a song that reminds you of Zayn and I’ll let you know when everything is set.”

**

It’s almost three in the morning when Harry, Louis and Niall get to the airport. Something happened with their tickets when they were in America so they had to take a later flight. When they finally got to London, the plane landed at 2:51 in the morning and Louis had to shake Niall awake because he was snoring.

They get their things and pack it into the van that’s waiting for them outside. Harry’s flat is the further away, so they’re dropping off Louis and Niall first. Niall falls asleep in the van again, but they wake him up when they arrive at his place. He says goodbye and tells them that he’ll see them at the pub later on before he goes inside.

On their way to Louis’, he pulls out his mobile and scans through it, typing a few things here and there. “Okay, you’re supposed to start playing at 2200 tomorrow night. Or, well, tonight technically. We’ll get there about an hour before that. You’ll be playing six songs.”

Harry looks over at Louis. “I thought I was only playing five songs.”

“Well, haven’t you picked out a song to play for Zayn?” Louis questions, looking back at him.

“You want me to tell Zayn that I love him by singing a song for him in front of all those people?!” Harry asks, his eyes wide.

“I told you that you have to do something memorable, Harry! What’s more memorable than that?”

Harry brings up his hand to his mouth, biting on his fingernails while looking at Louis worriedly. “Do you really think that’s a good idea? Zayn is never a fan of big gestures.”

“Trust me, this will be a gesture that he’ll have no choice but to love. Stop biting your fingernails,” Louis scolds, slapping Harry’s hand away. “Now, have you picked a song yet?”

Nodding, Harry reaches into his pocket and pulls out a piece of paper, unfolding it and handing it to Louis. He thought about it yesterday during another interview and he didn’t want to be rude and pull out his mobile, so he grabbed the closest pen and paper to jot it down before he forgot.

Louis reads it and smiles softly. “He’s going to love it, Harry. I promise.”

Harry smiles back, but he’s still nervous. This is something big that Harry’s never done before for anyone so he’s not sure how it’ll turn out. He’s hoping for the best just like Louis is, but it’s hard to do when a major friendship is on the line.

They get to Louis’ flat and Harry helps him with his things. “I’ll see you later on tonight, okay? Get some sleep. Tell Zayn I said hello,” Louis tells him, stepping over and wrapping Harry in a hug. Harry hugs him, running his hand up and down his back. “Don’t worry so much. Zayn’s going to love it and everything will be great.”

“I hope you’re right, Lou,” Harry mumbles, giving Louis a squeeze before letting go.

He waves goodbye before going back into the car, feeling it move and resting his head back against the seat. He does his best to keep his eyes open on the ride home and gives the driver a generous tip when they arrive. When he collects all his bags and pulls out his keys, Harry tries to be as quiet as possible entering the flat.

There are a few lights on when he walks in, mostly in the kitchen, but the tellie in the living room is on as well. Harry puts all his things by the door and locks it before kicking his shoes off. When he walks into the living room, he smiles softly when he sees Zayn sleeping on the couch, the remote cradled in his arms. Harry’s heart flutters a bit and he can’t stop smiling as he goes around and begins turning off some lights. He notices Zayn’s paint brushes in the sink and some paper towels with paint stains on them that Harry tosses in the garbage.

He walks back over to the couch and slowly pulls the remote out of Zayn’s hands so he can turn the tellie off. When it’s completely quiet in the living room, Zayn shifts on the couch and barely opens his eyes, looking at Harry the best he can in the dark. “Haz?” he mumbles, his voice rough from sleep.

“Hey, Zed,” Harry whispers, reaching up and pushing Zayn’s hair out of his eyes. He must’ve kept it down today instead of putting it up in a quiff. “What are you doing on the couch?”

Zayn reaches up and rubs his eyes. “Tried to stay up to see you when you came home. Didn’t know you would be so late.”

“Yeah, neither did I,” he says, smiling at Zayn’s words. “C’mon, let’s get you to bed.”

Zayn sits up and Harry grabs his hands to pull him off of the couch. When he stands and Harry lets go of his hands, Zayn wraps his arms around Harry’s waist, burying his face into his neck. “Missed you,” he says tiredly against his skin.

Harry does his best to hold back chills as he wraps his arms around Zayn as well. “Missed you, too,” he says, his nose brushing against Zayn’s messy hair. Harry smells the coconut conditioner that he only buys because he knows Zayn loves it and closes his eyes for a moment, knowing how at home he feels whenever he’s with Zayn. “C’mon, move it, off to bed,” he reluctantly says, putting his hands on Zayn’s shoulders to lead him down the hallway towards his room.

Zayn’s feet drag against the hardwood floor as they walk to his room. His bed is unmade, but it always is, and Harry grabs his covers and tosses them back so Zayn can slide right in. There are paintings on easels all over Zayn’s room, some of them even hanging on his wall. Harry’s always in awe when he looks at Zayn’s work, wishing that he was able to show the world how amazing he is.

As Harry goes to tuck Zayn into bed, Zayn grabs his wrist to stop him. “Where’re you goin’?” he asks, looking at Harry with half lidded eyes.

“I’m going to bed, mate,” Harry chuckles. “I’m just covering you up before I go.”

“No, stay with me,” Zayn tells him, tugging on Harry’s wrist.

His heart begins to beat faster as he looks at Zayn. “I’m a bed hog, you don’t want me in here with you,” he says, just to make up some kind of excuse.

“I don’t care, c’mere,” Zayn insists, pulling him in again. “I missed you.”

Harry swallows and eventually nods, Zayn letting go of his wrist so he can take off his jacket. He tries to calm himself down as he shucks off his trousers, leaving his shirt and pants on before he crawls into bed, feeling Zayn scoot over to make room. When he fully lies down and pulls the covers up, Zayn moves closer and throws his arm over Harry’s chest, resting his head on his shoulder. He breathes out, his body relaxing, and his eyes finally closing.

“G’night, Haz,” he mumbles, his hand resting comfortably on Harry’s side.

Realizing that he has no choice, Harry forces himself to relax and puts his hand on the small of Zayn’s back, his thumb brushing back and forth on the material of his shirt. “Night, Zed.”

Harry doesn’t fall asleep for another hour.

**

He’s only able to sleep for a few hours before he has to get out of bed. His body won’t relax long enough to fall back asleep while he’s so close to Zayn. Slowly, he slips out while Zayn stays asleep and goes into the kitchen to make some breakfast.

It’s almost ten, but he had gotten enough sleep that he feels okay. There have been days where he’s only gotten about 30 minutes worth of sleep, so he thinks that last night was one of the better nights.

He starts making Zayn a full English breakfast because he knows that Zayn will only eat it the way Harry makes it. He’ll never order it when they go out to eat and it always makes Harry smile when Zayn refuses to eat something he knows Harry can make better.

When he goes through the cabinets, he notices that Zayn must’ve gone shopping with Liam because they’re reasonably stocked. There’s a good amount of food for Harry to make a few nice dinners with and an entire cabinet filled with food that Zayn can stick in the microwave. Harry notices there’s a bunch of frozen dinners in the freezer as well. It reminds him that he has to teach Zayn to cook one of these days.

While Harry begins frying the bacon, he hears feet shuffling on the floor. He looks over his shoulder and grins when he sees Zayn walking into the kitchen like a zombie. “Morning, love,” Harry greets, tilting his head over to the microwave. “Already made you tea. Put it in there to keep it warm.”

Zayn doesn’t say anything, but he does come over to where Harry is standing in front of the stove. Harry feels Zayn put his hand on his side before he leans up and presses a kiss to Harry’s shoulder blade. Chills rolls through Harry’s body while he keeps his eyes on the food.

After a few minutes of silence aside from the food cooking, Zayn finally speaks. “How long did you sleep for?”

Harry shrugs. “A few hours. I feel fine, though. I’ve gone through worse. Did you sleep alright?”

He hums through his sip of tea. “Yeah.” Zayn taps his fingers against the island in the middle of their kitchen. “You seemed tense, though.”

“What do you mean?” Harry asks, although he’s never been a good liar, especially to Zayn. There was no way that Zayn couldn’t feel the stress seeping from Harry’s body last night. He’ll try his best to hide it from Zayn, though, and act as normal as possible.

He can feel Zayn’s eyes on him while he moves around the kitchen. “Just like you couldn’t sleep. Your body was tensed up, I could feel it.”

Harry doesn’t say anything for a while, not really knowing what to say to Zayn without lying to him. And he doesn’t want to lie to him, but he doesn’t way to say _I’m madly in love with you and I’m not sure you feel the same and now I don’t really know how to act around you_ either. “Just… a lot on my mind,” he tries. “I’m a bit nervous about tonight at the pub.”

“Why would you be nervous about that?” Zayn questions. “You’ve played for thousands of people before. This is just a little pub.”

Shrugging, Harry continues to keep busy with breakfast. “Dunno. Tonight just feels different, is all.”

Before Zayn can say anything, their doorbell begins to ring like crazy. Harry frowns and looks at Zayn, who has the same look on his face. He gets up and goes into the living room, Harry hearing him groan when he opens the front door and start to yell at Niall who began cheering at the sight of Zayn. Harry hears a bunch of footsteps and looks over his shoulder, seeing Liam and Louis walking into the kitchen.

“Good morning, my favorite person!” Louis greets, walking over and hugging Harry from behind. “I missed you oh so much.”

“I saw you six hours ago,” Harry says with a laugh.

“Doesn’t mean I didn’t miss you any less,” Louis states, reaching around and planting a sloppy kiss on Harry’s cheek. “Make enough food for all of us?”

Harry huffs. “No, but I suppose that I can.” He manages to pry Louis off of him to go over and give Liam a hug. “How’s it goin’, mate?” he asks, patting him on the back.

“Pretty good. Glad to see you,” Liam smiles, returning the hug. “Need any help?”

“I’d love some, thanks,” Harry says, continuing to cook while Liam moves around him. “Zed, can you entertain the leeches while Liam and I finish up breakfast?”

When Harry turns around to look at him, he can’t help but laugh when he sees Niall clinging onto Zayn’s back while Zayn holds him up by his legs. “Do I really have a choice?” Zayn asks, tilting his head away from Niall’s fingers at his face.

“Nope,” Harry grins. “Have fun.” He watches Zayn head into the living room with Niall still attached and shakes his head fondly while turning back to the food. “So how’s life?” Harry asks Liam, glancing over at him while he begins making the black pudding.

“It’s good, I’m well. How was America?”

“S’alright,” Harry shrugs. “Glad to be home, though.” He grabs another pan from under the sink and places it on another burner. “Think you could slice up some mushrooms for me?”

Liam nods and grabs the bag, pulling out a handful along with the cutting board and one of Harry’s fancy cooking knives. “Happy to see Zayn?”

Harry looks over at Liam, who is already looking at him with a knowing smile. Harry returns it before turning back to the stove. “I’m always happy to see him.” He’s quiet for a moment. “How was he when I was gone?”

“Same as always. Just buried himself into painting. He talked about you a lot, though,” Liam tells him.

He pauses, glancing at Liam before focusing on breakfast. “What’d he say, then?”

“I mean, it wasn’t anything that you would find different, but… the way he talked about you, mate, it’s like you hung the moon,” Liam chuckles. “It was almost always ‘Harry this, Harry that’. Sounded like one of your millions of fans.”

Harry smiles again, wider than before, and bites the inside of his cheek. “Does he usually talk about me that much when I’m gone?”

“Not like this time,” Liam says. “And after that interview with z100? I don’t think I’ve seen him smile like that before.”

His own smile has turned into a grin that Harry can’t get rid of. He doesn’t know why this all feels different, but it does and it’s certainly a great feeling.

“Have you told him how you feel yet?” Liam asks, walking around Harry to put the sliced mushrooms in the pan.

Shaking his head, Harry grabs some olive oil and pours a bit into the pan before turning on the burner. “I’m gonna do it tonight.”

Liam widens his eyes as he looks at Harry. “Tonight at the pub?” Harry nods, reaching his hand up and biting his fingernails. “How are you going to tell him?”

“Sing ‘im a song,” Harry mumbles, his cheeks growing red from embarrassment.

Liam’s grinning though, patting Harry on the shoulder. “That’s going to be ace, mate. Zayn’ll love it.”

“Hope so,” he says, moving his hand away from his mouth to continue cooking. Just thinking about doing this for Zayn is already making Harry nervous as he thinks of all of the things that could go wrong. He always tries to be optimistic, but it’s extremely difficult to do so.

Harry will know by tonight if he can truly have everything he wants, or lose what’s most important to him.

**

He pushes his hair out of his eyes and takes a deep breath as he stands in front of his mirror. He’s finally dressed, wearing dark jeans and a v-neck with a blazer over it. Honestly, this is an outfit he knows he looks good in because Zayn has told him so countless times whenever he wears it. Harry thinks it will give him more confidence because he knows Zayn will like how he looks.

Louis is waiting for him in the living room and Zayn has already left with Liam and Niall to the pub. Zayn gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek with a soft smile and a ‘see you there’ before he left. Harry can’t get the image of Zayn and how good he looked out of his head. His hair was up and styled into a quiff and he hadn’t shaved, letting his scruff rest on his cheeks. He had a graphic t-shirt on and a leather jacket over it, wearing dark blue jeans and nice shoes. It stuck in Harry’s head as he was getting dressed, making him pick out the outfit he’s wearing so he could look good for Zayn.

There are a few knocks on his bedroom door before it opens, Harry seeing Louis walk in his room from the reflection. “Almost ready, mate?” he asks. He’s a bit dressed up as well, slick trousers with a dark red button up and his hair pushed up into a quiff.

“Yeah,” Harry nods, turning around and facing Louis. “Think I look okay?”

“You look great,” Louis smiles. “C’mon, let’s get going. Car’s waiting outside.”

He collects all his things and double checks if he needs anything before he leaves his flat. There are paparazzi outside, multiple flashes hitting him while he tries to squeeze through with Louis. They make it in without too much hassle and Louis tells the driver where to go.

Harry keeps shaking his hair out and pushing it back out of nerves. When he’s not doing that, he’s biting his fingernails (which Louis keeps yelling at him for and slapping his hand away). He keeps thinking about tonight, about something going wrong that could ruin everything.

“Harry, try to relax,” Louis pleads. “You’re stressing me out just by looking at you.”

“M’sorry,” Harry says, biting his lip.

Louis puts his hand on Harry’s shoulder. “Everything will be fine. Everybody sees the way he looks at you and the way you look at him. He would be an absolute fool to say no to you, Harry.”

He doesn’t say anything, just looks out of the window and hopes that everyone is right about this.

They arrive at the pub where there are cameras everywhere outside. Louis steps out first and the paps go crazy for him, yelling his name from every direction. Harry crawls out afterwards, waving and smiling as the yelling only gets louder. Louis keeps him close by his side while they push through the crowd. Security from the pub clear the way so they can get in safely and Harry takes a deep breath in when they’re finally free.

“You alright?” Louis asks, and Harry nods.

There are a decent amount of people in the pub, and it’s a small place so it’s relatively full. Harry sees a lot of familiar faces and says hello to everyone he can as he walks through. Unfortunately he doesn’t see Zayn before he gets backstage and he asks Louis where he thinks he is.

“Dunno,” Louis shrugs. “Might be by the bar with Liam.” Harry looks around backstage, seeing a few people running around while Niall is hanging out on the couch with his acoustic guitar in his lap, strumming gently. “You got the song I told you about, Niall?”

He looks away from his guitar and shoots Louis a thumbs up, smiling. “Got it, mate.”

Louis smiles back before looking at Harry, grabbing his shoulders and squeezing. “You ready?”

Harry breathes in and out before nodding at Louis. “Ready.”

He gives Harry a hug and mumbles a ‘good luck’ to him before going out to the stage and helping to get everything set up.

To calm his nerves, Harry walks around backstage and sings the song for Zayn to himself, practicing that more than his own songs. Niall must hear him because Harry recognizes the tune he begins to play, although it sounds extremely different on guitar. Harry stands near the couch and sings while Niall plays, singing softly behind Harry’s voice. They go back and forth, trying what sounds best and most like the song before Louis comes back and tells them that everything is ready to go.

One more deep breath and Harry walks out on stage, smiling and waving to everyone while they cheer and the spotlight turns on him. Niall sits nearby and Harry adjusts the microphone in front of his stool. “Hello, everyone,” he greets. “Thank you so much for coming. I’m going to sing a few songs for you all. I hope you like them.”

Harry looks at Niall and they count together before Harry begins to sing. The atmosphere is extremely calm, which relaxes Harry as he sings. His eyes scan the crowd and when they meet the brown eyes he’s been looking for since he walked in, he can’t help but smile. Zayn begins to smile as well, holding his drink up to Harry and mouthing ‘cheers’. Harry winks his way and he can tell that Zayn is embarrassed by the way he grins and shakes his head.

The set goes well, very easy and a lot better than Harry thought it would go. The crowd is responsive, singing with him during his single and laughing at his silly jokes. He’s very pleased with the way this is all going, and it looks like Louis is by the thumbs up he gives Harry at the side of the stage.

Before Harry knows it, he’s finishing up the fifth song and everyone is clapping for him. “Thank you so much,” he says, smiling at the crowd. He leans down and grabs his water bottle, taking a quick sip before setting it back. “Thanks, everybody. Um, I have one more song to sing, but this isn’t my song.”

There’s mumbles throughout the crowd and Harry looks at Zayn, who looks thoroughly confused. Liam, who is right next to him, is grinning madly as he gives Harry two thumbs up. He quickly stops when Zayn looks at him, though.

Harry pushes his hair out of his eyes before he speaks. “The song I’m about to sing reminds me of a friend of mine that some of you may know of. Whenever I hear it, my thoughts immediately float to him if they’re not already filled with him,” he jokes, laughing nervously. “Being a musician, you know, sometimes there are no better ways of describing how you feel than through a song. So, I’m singing this to let you know how I feel. This is for you, Zayn.”

When he takes a glance at Zayn, his eyes are wide and his jaw is dropped. Harry looks over at Niall and counts in with him, tapping his foot on the stood when the music plays and closing his eyes before he sings.

“ _You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you. You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much,_ ” he sings. “ _At long last, love has arrived and I thank god I’m alive. You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you_.”

Harry licks his lips before he continues. “ _Pardon the way that I stare, there’s nothing else to compare. The sight of you leaves me weak, there are no words left to speak. But if you feel like I feel, please let me know that it’s real. You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you_.”

Harry watches Niall strum before turning back to the mic and looking at Zayn when he sings. “ _I need you, baby. If it’s quite alright, I need you, baby, to warm the lonely nights. I love you, baby. Trust in me when I say okay_.” Zayn looks frozen in his spot as Harry sings. “ _Oh, pretty baby, don’t let me down, I pray. Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay and let me love you. Oh baby, let me love you, oh baby_.”

Niall sings the _ba da, ba da, ba da da da_ before Harry continues. “ _You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you. You’d be like heaven to touch, I wanna hold you so much. At long last, love has arrived and I thank god I’m alive. You’re just too good to be true, can’t take my eyes off of you_.”

He sings the chorus again, braving his eye contact with Zayn and not looking away. Harry would kill to know what he’s thinking right now because his face is completely blank, like he doesn’t know what to do or say.

Harry takes a deep breath before he sings the last verse. “ _I need you, baby. If it’s quite alright, I love you, baby. You warm the lonely nights. I need you, baby. Trust in me when I say it’s okay. Oh, oh, pretty baby, don’t let me down, I pray. Oh, pretty baby, now that I found you, stay and let me love you. Oh baby, let me love you, oh oh…_ ”

He mumbles a low ‘thank you’ into the microphone before everyone begins to clap and cheer loudly. Harry can’t hide his smile when he looks over at Louis, who is going crazy with whooping yells. Niall’s clapping as well and he pats Harry’s shoulder.

Slowly he stands up and looks at Zayn, who Harry assumes has been looking at him the entire time. He steps down from the stage and makes his way over, the crowd practically parting the way for him to lead straight to Zayn.

Liam gives him a quick hug and a ‘good luck’ before he gets out of the way. Harry finally makes his way up to Zayn, feeling the eyes of everyone around on the both of them. “Hey,” Harry says, giving Zayn a little smile.

“Hey,” he returns. “What was that?”

“A song about how I feel,” Harry tells him.

“Well I know that, you already said it.” Zayn crosses his arms. “Why did you have to say it like that?”

Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Like… what?”

“I _mean_ , why couldn’t you tell me like a normal person?” Zayn questions, unable to hide the curling smile from the corner of his mouth. “So I can tell magazines that I was properly serenaded by _Harry Styles_?”

Letting out a sigh of relief, Harry grins and grabs one of Zayn’s arms to uncross them. “To be quite honest, that was all Louis’ idea. I would have never told you if he didn’t force me to do it.”

“So it was a song or nothing? Guess you don’t love me _that_ much,” Zayn smirks.

“You really think that, huh?” Harry says, pulling Zayn closer to wrap one of his arms around his waist. His other hand reaches up to cup his jaw.

All Harry can see is Zayn’s smile and his brown eyes before he leans in and kisses him, his entire body relaxing at the touch of his lips. Zayn moves closer and brings his hands up to link at the back of Harry’s neck. Their mouths move together slowly, trying to get everything they’ve missed out on after all these years. Harry can faintly hear the cheering around him, but all he can focus on is Zayn and how his body is physically aching to touch, kiss and love every part of him.

Zayn’s the one to pull away first, resting his forehead against Harry and practically crossing his eyes to look at him. “Took you love enough, Styles,” he whispers, his thumb stroking against his neck.

“Why do I get blamed?” Harry laughs, tilting his head back to look at Zayn and how his entire face is glowing.

“I dragged you into my bed,” Zayn says, raising an eyebrow.

Harry opens his mouth to say something, but Zayn shakes his head and drags Harry back in for another kiss. Laughing against his mouth, Harry wraps both arms around Zayn’s waist and picks him up, causing him to slightly flail and cling to him.

Although Harry’s not a big risk taker, he’s certainly glad he took this one.


End file.
